why I don't teach kindergarten
by Gerald Locklin
no night classes.
The Best Year of Her Life
by Gerald Locklin
When my two-year-old daughter
sees someone come through the door
whom she loves, and hasn't seen for a while,
and has been anticipating
she literally shrieks with joy.
I have to go into the other room
so that no one will notice the tears in my eyes.
Later, after my daughter has gone to bed,
i say to my wife,
"She will never be this happy again,"
and my wife gets angry and snaps,
"Don't you dare communicate your negativism to her!"
And, of course, I won't, if I can possibly help it,
and, of course, I fully expect her
to have much joy in her life,
and, of course, I hope to be able
to contribute to that joy—
I hope, in other words, that she'll always
be happy to see me come through the door—
but why kid ourselves—she, like every child,
has a life of great suffering ahead of her,
and while joy will not go out of her life,
she will one of these days cease to actually,
literally, jump and shriek for joy.
An Uncool Yul
by Gerald Locklin
a lot of people seem to think
that it's just wonderful how yul brenner,
while he was dying of cancer,
made an anti-smoking commercial
that is playing now,
a year after his death.
they say it's the most effective
anti-smoking commercial ever made.
my first reaction is: what an ignominious
and mechanical form of immortality.
my second is: how old was he anyway? what's
so great about old age? i can testify that
middle age ain't no 24-hour orgasm.
my third thought is that he could at least
have provided a companion commercial
extolling all the joys and pleasures and
triumphs of his life that he associated with tobacco.
if you think I'm a smoker,
you're wrong.
i haven't smoked in twenty years
and i only smoked for a couple of years
when i did. i gave up smoking so that
i wouldn't die thirty years younger
than yul brenner.
but during the time that i smoked,
i really smoked up a storm. i just about out-smoked smokin' joe frazier. i'd come
a-smokin' out of bed each mornin', smoke
a blue streak through my waking hours, and
smoke myself into submission each evening.
if i were to find out today that i were going
to die in a year i suspect that one of the first
things i might do is take up smoking again.
and i really do wonder what, a few years from
now, will be left to us to make each day
worth looking forward to.